This is my experience of my addiction to pornography and how i got over it. The solution written is applicable to anybody, not only for the addiction to pornography but for any addiction.
And this will change your life forever.
While doing my post graduation in computers in 2000 i was staying with my friends away from home. Those days most of the time we were on computers as our career was building on it . Those days , through internet, pornography was just started spreading. But using internet was costly. Video tapes were given its place to CDs and CDs easily available in the market.
Hot and Saucy movies soon it became a part of our life.
Our way was work your ass off, Watch pornography and enjoy, Eat &Drink like a pig.
We completed the post graduation studies, went to different levels of jobs, life changed drastically.
One thing that never changed was eagerness to watch erotica.
It seemed like watching pornography was a channel to release frustrations, tensions of the days and watching it resulted to have an urge for masturbation and temporary pleasure.
After marriage also i couldn’t stop it.
Frequency of watching got reduced but as always it was pleasurable to watch.
And i noticed most of my friends couldn’t come out of it.
But as days pass by, as i started growing in Christ i really desired to stop watching pornography.
And i started looking for ways to stop watching it. I was successful in not watching it for few days but not more than that.
How weak is the flesh!
I believed in the human wisdom and ideas. I used to read lot of books those days on success, finance, business, improving lives… I have read almost all classics in personal improvement.
To get over this addiction, I read the top books written on habit breaking.
The beauty of this books are it looks like true and really work for us.
Books also gave light on how some products and marketing used in the history to build up habits and they made fortunes.
And i felt great to share the brilliant ideas with others.
I implemented the ideas from these books to my life to stop my addiction.
For few days it really worked for me.
After few days again came to ground.
I used to read bible also during those times.
Even though i believed Jesus, i go to churches but that never stopped me from watching pornography.
I presume that my involvement in this pleasure is not hurting anyone, and no one sees it as i secretly does it.
One day as while i was reading the bible .
I came across the promise of Jesus Christ to us .
Jesus promised when we receive him as the savior for life, He will give us a helper.
That helper is the Spirit of God also called as Holy Spirit.
It is the same spirit by whom Jesus did all miracles while on earth.
And it was the same power that raised Him from the death.
After receiving Jesus Christ as our savior, Holy Spirit comes and lives inside us and guide us.
He direct our decisions according to the will of God.
The more we surrender our desires to this Spirit of God, the nature of Christ comes out of our life as fruits. It is just like fruits from a tree is a result of its root on well fertilized land.
The fruits of Spirit of God are Love, Joy, Peace, goodness, forbearance, kindness, faithfulness, self-control, humility (Galatians 5:22,23)
When i come across this, i thought.
I received Jesus Christ as my savior,
So definitely Spirit of God must inside me.
I doubted, Spirit of God is inside me?
I never felt it or experienced it?
If Spirit of God is inside me then atleast one of its fruit should come out of me.
And Self Control is one of the fruit.
I fell on knees and prayed to God.
Jesus i know that you are true.
From many experiences i know Jesus Christ is Alive.
But i never understood about this Holy Spirit .
Is the same Spirit, same power that raised Christ from death is living in me ?
Is it with the same spirit Christ was walking and doing great miracles ?
If this Holy Spirit is true, Is he really living in me, Lord help me to come out of this desire to watch the evil at-least for one week.
I want Holy Spirit’s fruit to happen in my life.
On that day the first day of the week started.
After two days i had a huge desire to watch something spicy.
I went to my knees and prayed Holy Spirit if you are in me help me to go through this day.
That day passed.
After two days again i got the urge.
I went to knees and begged, God one more day please…!
That day also went through.
Next day again i begged, God one more day please .
In that way I successfully completed one week.
I understood.. something is working at last.
I prayed again i want another 7 days without watching it.
In that week i had a desire only once and that also i passed.
14 days passed successfully.
Again i went to knees i asked “Holy Spirit you are the helper, help me another 15 days.”
One month passed
Two months passed
Years passed , i never had the urge and came out of it.
But i remain careful all the time any image or videos shared via friends or while in internet or phone i never put my eyes on it to please my eyes.
Understanding these Two Truths help me to come out of it:
Truth 1: Unknowingly i was a part heinous crimes across the world every-time i watch pornography.
Pornography is a multi-billion industry in the world today, Because of its demand.
This industry has been resulted to widespread sex trafficking, child trafficking and abuse across the world. When a rape happens , when a child has been abducted and used for pornography. People rage with anger, light a candle outside on streets, go back home and to get over that frustration many watch pornography!.
Every-time when we watch a pornographic content, we are indirectly giving money to their producers to make it more!.
This truth urged me to stop watching it.
But i couldn’t, my flesh was weak to temptations.
Then i found the helper.
Truth 2: Finding a helper who can help me to come out of my addiction.
I got a helper from unexpected to come out of addiction .
I have been reading bible since childhood but that never helped me falling from addiction.
A person born in a christian family, having a christian name or going to church doesn’t mean he knows Christ.
He can live in a ritual without knowing Christ. Every where we made rituals according to the convenience of people and as the time demanded.
Living with Christ is not a religion.
It is living with real God, who talk to us, help us in taking decisions and great peace and joy in life. This is my personal experience.
When a person receive Jesus Christ, he also receive the promised holy Spirit . But for some people bad habits or addictions may not go away the moment they receive Jesus Christ. For some people addictions will get immediately stopped. But all this sinful desires start to die down in you when you start GROWING IN CHRIST.
You should have that desire.
Growing in Christ is the greatest experience you will have in your life. Nothing in this world gives the greatest pleasure like growing in Jesus. It is more than pleasure of anything this world can give as i have experienced and I guarantee you for that.
From this experience i understood promises of Jesus Christ is everything true. Now i got a helper for my life in this difficult world.
I started depending upon all my decisions , business decisions upon him. Unless i get confirmation from Holy Spirit i didn’t take many decisions.
I wanted to know whether it works with other addictions.
And i personally witnessed that this is true. Many people i found who came out of Alcohol addictions, Drug addictions by just receiving Jesus Christ as their savior . Every conflicted and unnatural desires of the human kind including homosexuality can be routed out receiving Jesus Christ as your savior and with the power of Holy Spirit.
Jesus Christ is true, Holy Spirit, the gift of Holy spirit and fruits of Holy Spirit is also true. This is the greatest gift for you and me and the entire human kind.
If you wish you change your own life and others and make this world more beautiful by receiving the great love of God through his son Jesus Christ.
Here is a small prayer to invite Jesus Christ in to your life.
There is no perfect prayer to invite Jesus.
There is no perfect ritual that can make it happen.
It is not the beauty or best grammar of the word do make that happen.
It is only your deep desire to live a God given life can make it happen
Not even word, a groan from your deep desire for Jesus Christ will also be answered happily from heaven.
Lord Jesus Christ,
Come to My heart.
Come and Live In Me.
Iam a Sinner. Im wrong in many ways.
I believe you have died for me at the cross.
By taking the punishment which i have to receive for my wrongs.
And you rise up from the dead and still living for me.
Lord Jesus I invite you,
Wash away my sins and sinful nature of my flesh .
Bless me with your Holy Spirit.
Help me to come out of all the evil desires ……..
Make my body, a holy temple ,with your presence.
Help me to walk in your way of holiness.
For the glory of the God, all of my Life.
COMMENT YOUR THOUGHTS BELOW.